Something New

For what was certainly not the first, second, or even third time that morning, he habitually flipped over to look at the monkey-on-his-back that was Facebook, not truly expecting anything new.  As he scrolled through the pointless posts and the meaningless messages, he toyed with the thought of deleting his profile for what was certainly not the first, second, or even third time.

Suddenly, something shifted in the universe.  A soft and gentle bloop issued from his computer as a small red icon appeared toward the top of his screen.

A friend request.

He had heard legends speaking of such things, but had never considered the possibility that one would actually grace his screen.  As he moved his mouse to find out whose profile the fabled request heralded, he felt honored, nervous, and a little hungry.  (It had been a while since breakfast, after all.)

He clicked on the red icon to find himself confronted with the face of a girl.  Her short, auburn hair and unnaturally (i.e. clearly photoshopped) green eyes were completely unfamiliar to him, so he instinctively clicked "ignore".  He had enough people he knew clogging up his feed with addictive nonsense.  He didn't think he needed that from someone he had never even seen before.

He pulled away from his computer in frustration.  Was this really what life had become?

He closed his eyes.

When he regained consciousness, he looked around the room.  A dozen or so other people were scattered across the floor in similar varying states of functionality while a few others stood alongside them, some completely lucid, others apparently comatose.  It left him a little concerned that he was hardly phased at all by their current situation.

Was this really what life had become?

What did they expected when someone had the brilliant idea of gathering all 21 Archers together?  Lance had had some bad ideas over the years, but this one took the cake.

Most of the Archers were fine.  They could be put in any situation and keep their cool no matter what.  Others, though, didn't take disagreements very well.  Given the fact that the room was filled with some of the most powerful beings on Earth, temper tantrums were something not to be trifled with.

As he recovered from Malice's most recent outburst, he righted his chair, heavily sat down, and turned to his teammates, Ghost and Corson, who both appeared to have been unaffected by the tirade.  He assumed that Ghost had "ghosted", allowing the energy to pass through him, leaving him unscathed, and very few things seemed to do any damage to Corson.  He really needed to learn how he did that.

Ghost was openly cackling at him while Corson had let a smile cross his masked face, the closest anyone had ever seen him get to laughing.  "Come on, Haze," Ghost said playfully.  "You're making Delta look bad!"  The three had developed a relaxed rapport with each other that allowed for open mocking.  He would get them back for it eventually.

"Yes.  Perhaps," Corson said in his deep, mystic voice, "you shouldst ponder requesting of the good Captain-of-us-all for guidance in eschewing such eruptions.  He doest appear unscathed."

A low blow, but still permissible.

"Yeah," said Ghost enthusiastically.  "Maybe, while he's at it, he can show you how to close a deal!"  A flick of his eyes and slight twitch of his head said more than his words possibly could have.

Too far.

"Well at least she considered dating me," said Haze retaliatorially, "unlike some people here."

Ghost's face suddenly darkened.  "You and I both know she's only got eyes for Cap.  Neither of us stood a chance."

Haze smirked as he sat back in his chair.  "I did."

Just as Ghost was about to lunge forward and start the tirade cycle anew, a throat being cleared at the front of the assemblage reminded them where they were.  Captain Superior looked down on them smugly.  "Is there something you boys would like to share with the class?"

Haze really hated Superior sometimes.

Corson stood confidently.  "My fellow Delta-encompassed team members were enthralled in deliberations regarding the respective likelihoods of copulation with she-whom-all-adore," he said proudly, gesturing unnecessarily toward a girl across the room with short brown hair wearing an equally short pink skirt.  Her eyes seemed to glow an even brighter shade of green in embarrassment.

Haze shrunk down in his chair as low as he could, fighting the instinct to phase out.

He opened his eyes.

As he thought about it, he hadn't given someone new a chance in quite a while.  Perhaps someone he didn't know was exactly what his news feed needed.

He quickly plowed through the unnecessarily complicated process of finding the girl's profile again and scrolled through what he was allowed to see of it.  A few pictures told him she was gorgeous, but a few posts told him that she rarely posted anything interesting in any sense of the word.

He closed the browser.

Maybe it wasn't a day to try new things.