RING RING

He pulled his head away from the wall and reached up a hand to rub his now throbbing cranium.  Perhaps literally banging his head against the wall hadn't been the best way to express his frustration, but it had seemed like a good idea just a few moments before.

Still rubbing his head, he slowly returned to his desk and dropped heavily into his office chair, effectively forcing it to yield and drop a couple of inches.  The phone rang again and he looked at it a bit mournfully.  Whoever was on the other side couldn't possibly do anything to improve his day at this point.  Chances were that they would actually make him even angrier than he already was.

After deciding that he couldn't ignore it forever and had waited about as long as he possibly could to answer it, he begrudgingly lifted the receiver and gave his standard, pre-programmed greeting.

After an almost unreasonably long pause in which he decided there wasn't anyone on the other side of the line, a faint voice quickly sputtered, "Hi.  This is Zach," before falling silent again.  He quickly and cheerfully responded, thankful to be talking to someone he didn't already hate.  After another unreasonably long pause, he heard the distinct click of someone hanging up.

"Hello?"  No response.  "Helloooooo?"  No response.  "I like to lick seagulls.  Have a nice day!"  And he hung up.

A part of him was relieved and grateful that he didn't have to deal with anyone, but there was another equally sized part of him that had been looking forward to some human contact.  He sat and stared at the wall for a few minutes, letting the two sides fight it out for a while before returning to the arduous task of pretending he was doing something productive.

That lasted all of five minutes.

Then he closed his eyes.

"I don't know how," he said desperately, pleading with the strange man.

The light that had left the forest returned just as quickly as it had faded, bringing with it even more of the joyous rays.  "Oh.  Well why didn't you say so?  This way!"  The strange man suddenly pointed back in the direction Paschar was almost positive had led him to where they were now standing.  Of course, he knew better than to think that anyone knew where anything was while in the Forest of Diri.

A sudden and dangerous idea struck him.

"You know, if you know your way around this forest-"

"I should hope I do," said Diri cheerfully.

"Then you could lead me to the lance, couldn't you?"

Diri suddenly rounded on him and looked deep into his eyes, just inches from the young captain's face.  He paused for a long time, a serious face scrutinizing Paschar's every detail.  Then, very seriously, though somehow sounding childish, the strange man spoke.  "It's not called the lance.  It's called the Lance."  He suddenly looked away very thoughtfully.  "Actually, L.A.N.C.E. would probably be more accurate, though it occurs to me that you can't hear punctuation."  He suddenly turned his attention back to Paschar.  "Can you?"  It was an honest question.

The captain slowly shook his head, still not sure what to make of his new travel companion . . . and seriously wondering what he had done with his previous companion.

"I thought not," Diri said quickly, returning to his original course.  "Besides, if I showed you where that was, I'd have to kill you.  Violently."

Paschar gulped and followed Diri at a distance.

After a few minutes of walking, the darkness seemed to return, bringing with it a sense of dread.

But there was something different about the darkness this time.  It seemed closer, more tangible, and, most importantly, Diri seemed to take notice of it.  The strange man looked around, reaching out with a hand as if hoping to grab hold of the shadows themselves.

When he did grab hold of them, Captain Paschar seriously considered running for it, but something held him in place.

Suddenly, streaks of lightning coursed through the shadows, forming into a strange symbol that caused Diri to recoil.  The symbol charged at the strange being, ramming hard into his chest.  Lightning then began to pour out of it and envelop him.  The energy grew brighter and denser by the second until Paschar couldn't look at Diri anymore.

Suddenly, the light faded back to normal, and Paschar turned back to see what had become of his companion.  He quickly decided that one of two things had happened.  Either Diri had transformed into the incredibly human man now standing in front of him, or Diri had somehow been driven away and replaced by barefoot man clothed in simple, tattered, grey clothes and hood with brightly colored tattoos covering his legs.  The captain wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know which it was.

When the man spoke, Paschar quickly made note of the fact that while this newcomer didn't look young by any means, his stern but cheerful voice sounded significantly older than he looked.  "Are you alright?"

Paschar paused for a long time just staring at the man.  He finally managed to form a coherent sentence.  "Who are you?"

The man almost smiled.  There was definite movement around his lips, but not enough to actually call it a change in emotion.  "I'm what's left of L.A.N.C.E."  He paused dramatically as if listening to something way off in the distance.  "You can call me Haze."

A sudden ringing filled Paschar's ears and completely overtook his mind.  It didn't take long before he couldn't focus on anything else.

So he opened his eyes.

The ringing stopped when he picked up the phone's receiver, instinctively greeting the person on the other side.

There was a long pause before a somewhat mechanical male voice began to speak.  "Hello!  I am calling on behalf of . . . "  He spaced out for a moment and didn't hear who this pseudo-person was with.  "Did you know that by updating your listing in . . . "  He spaced out again.

"Did you know," he responded cheerfully, "that I hate the smell of waxed mongoose tongue?"  And he quickly hung up.

He let his head drop down and land with a loud thud on his desk, immediately regretting the decision.

He rubbed his forehead in his hand.

Did real people still exist?